Bubba and Cindy Cathy

Bubba Cathy recalls his father saying it time and time again: “There are no perfect people; therefore there are no perfect marriages.” But Bubba and Cindy Cathy will tell you they certainly had a lot going for them at the outset. They met at their south Atlanta church as teenagers and seven years later, after completing college and doing their pre-marital due diligence by dating others, they married. “If there’s anybody who had an opportunity for complete and total success with no problems [in marriage],” smiles Cindy, “it would be us.” Both were raised in happy, vital Christian homes by loving, long-married parents with little of the drama and dysfunction that characterizes so many families today. The success of the Chick-fil-A Corporation, the restaurant business Bubba’s legendary father Truett Cathy began 60 years ago, ensured few financial worries. And Bubba and Cindy note they’ve never had to face the profound tragedies many couples have confronted like serious illness or the loss of a child. But even with all they had going for them, issues emerged – as they do in every marriage. The six busy children they had brought into the world made their home life perpetually hectic – and left Cindy hungry for adult conversation. Bubba’s entrepreneurial energy and drive was often focused everywhere but in the home. Says Cindy, “It took ten years to recognize that I wasn’t going to be his clone – and that’s not what God had designed anyway.”

And so over time, with much prayer and insight offered by marriage coaches and a clear commitment to one another, the Cathys learned to love each other more genuinely as they discovered and cultivated right priorities. With that came the ability to better attend to one another’s deepest desires – those heartfelt needs that are sometimes so difficult to voice. Along the way, they found support and accountability for their marriage in their friendship with Bob and Bev Maday, their “marriage buddies” who, like Bubba and Cindy, recognized the great value and great joy of having your best friends walking alongside for a sometimes perilous journey. Whether the challenge was spiritual, involved parenting or a persistent marital conflict, both couples knew that within the context of this trusting friendship, lay balm for their weary souls.

And through that friendship, and the experience the four had gleaned through years of teaching Sunday school, WinShape Marriage emerged. Even in the midst of his varied and demanding Chick-fil-A duties, Bubba recalls feeling led to help other couples get started on the right track with their marriages – not wait the ten years he says he and Cindy took to unpack what was really going on in their relationship. As the Cathys and Madays transparently shared their own struggles with other couples, they observed something powerful: says Cindy, “When you get people together, there’s transformation….where [people] are loved on with lots of hospitality a lot of good food, with laughter and tears and sharing. We didn’t have a real program in mind with a ‘how-to book’. We’ve just tried to be good models – and be real.”

“Marriage needs to be the number one relationship in the home,” Bubba insists. “Marriage is God’s plan. It’s not man’s plan. It’s for the good of us, for the good of our family, for the good of our children, for the good of society to have good, stable marriages.” Cindy recalls the wisdom offered by one couple who attended a WinShape retreat. They shared their belief that modeling your marriage may be the most important gift you give your children. “It’s our heart’s desire that marriage be elevated again,” Cindy says, quoting Hebrews 13:4 which urges that marriage be held in high esteem.

We get annual physicals, Bubba says. We get our teeth checked twice a year. How much more important is it to make sure our marriages are healthy? Far, far more, both he and Cindy believe. And it is their deepest wish that every couple in need of emotional sustenance would find bread for the journey in the tranquil splendor of WinShape Marriage.

Shawn Stoever, Ph.D.
Director of WinShape Marriage

Shawn received his doctoral degree in counseling psychology from the University of North Texas, where he specialized in marriage and family therapy. But even with all his education, Shawn really didn't know anything about marriage until he met his own wife, Christina. Fortunately, she frequently joins him in speaking to groups.

Passionate about his relationships with God and Christina, Shawn is eager to share how you can experience the same fulfillment and joy in marriage and in life. Whether he's leading retreats, speaking at conferences, or appearing on television and radio broadcasts, Shawn's humor, enthusiasm, and wisdom help him connect with his audience.

Before joining WinShape Marriage, Shawn was the Director of Training for the Smalley Relationship Center, founded by Gary Smalley. His duties there included training marriage leaders, leading retreats, and counseling couples.

Shawn is now Director of WinShape Marriage, with four key areas of responsibility:

• Designing and leading relevant, energetic marriage programming
• Creating new programs to meet the needs of groups who use WinShape Retreat
• Developing the adjunct faculty for WinShape Marriage
• Coordinating efforts to encourage a marriage movement across the country